- Have fun together
- Trust each other
- Always feel safe with each other
- Each enjoy spending time separately, with your own friends, as well as with each other’s friends
- Support each other’s individual goals in life, like getting a job or going to university.
- Respect each other’s opinions, even when they are different
- Solve conflicts without putting each other down, swearing at each other or making threats
- Both accept responsibility for your actions
- Are faithful to each other
- Both say sorry when you’re wrong
- Have equal decision-making power about what you do in your relationship
- Each control your own money
- Are proud to be with each other
- Encourage each other’s interests
- Have some privacy - your letters, diary, personal phone calls are respected as your own
- Have close friends & family who like the other person and are happy about your relationship
- Never feel like you’re pressured for sex
- Communicate about sex, if your relationship is sexual
- Allow each other “space” when you need it
- Always treat each other with respect
|
- Gets extremely jealous
- Puts the other down by calling names
- Making the other feel bad about him or herself
- Yells at the other person
- Doesn’t listen when the other talks
- Frequently criticizes the other’s friends or family
- Has ever threatened to hurt the other or commit suicide if they leave
- Cheats or threatens to cheat
- Tells the other how to dress
- Has ever grabbed, pushed, hit, or physically hurt the other
- Blames the other for your own behavior e.g “if you hadn’t wound me up, I wouldn’t have…”
- Embarrasses or humiliates the other
- Smashes, throws, or destroys things
- Tries to keep the other from having a job or furthering his/her education
- Makes all decisions about what you do
- Tries to make you feel as though everything is your fault.
- Goes back on promises
- Pressures the other for sex
- Acts controlling or possessive – like they own you
- Uses alcohol /drugs as excuse for hurtful behavior
- Ignores or withholds affection to punish the other
- Depends completely on the other to meet social or emotional needs
|
